Sunday, June 8, 2008

I've Got No Air!

There's a curse following me around the past week or so. Things that contain that which surrounds us everyday, in such a manner as to allow smooth locomotion, refuse to do so when in my possession or presence.

It started the day before we left for Bump-n-Grind. I got up that morning, and there was only about 10lbs of air in my truck's rear tire. That vehicle now being untrustworthy, Paul and I hijacked my poor wife, at 7:00am, to give us a ride to the agreed upon meeting spot for our trip. "I'll deal with it when I come home." I said. Fool.

All is going well in the race. I'm flying on the downhills! After all, as a clydesdale, my climbing is not so great, so I've gotta make up for it somewhere. I love these long, rocky, fast downhill stretches! I'd just gotten around some nervous, sketchy, panic braking, overcautious, skinny guy, when I felt the wind leave my sails, as my rear tire nearly rolled off the rim in a right hand switchback. Apparently, I'd punctured somewhere on my pass attempts. Fool.

Thursday's Joe's ride is going well, for the first half of the ride. But I forgot to eat something right before the ride. During the 2nd half, I'm just holding on. The hot summer air feels like a furnace in my lungs, and I can't go fast anymore. With the fast laps over, a few of us are cruising in at a nice, slow, cool down pace. Pfft. Pfft.Pfft. Pfft. Damn tubulars! I knew I should've been more proactive about selling them, and getting a replacement set of clinchers. Fool.

Friday, Marcus needs to go pick up his rental car, out by the airport. I agree to take an easy ride out there, and we'll drive the rental back. The road bike is still on blocks, so the 'cross bike comes out. I remember, as we roll out from Mark's, I have no more long valve tubes for my rear wheel. Oh well, I'm running Specilaized kevlar belted, puncture resistant tires. What are the odds? The key here is puncture resistant. Fool.

Sunday's mountain bike ride rolls around, and I'm just gassed. I don't really even want to ride, but it's Sunday, and I'm hoping that the ride will clear my angst. I grab my front wheel to put it on my bike, and imagine my lack of surprise to feel a flaccid 15lbs of air pressure. This tire has been losing no more than a couple of lbs. of pressure a week, ever since I first mounted it on the wheel! I pump it up to proper pressure, hope the Stan's sealant will reseal any slow leaks, and roll out. Fool.

That was it. I was cracked. I pumped the tire up again, and headed for home. 30 minutes in, and I was calling it quits. That's right. I quit a ride over a flat tire. Or was it 4 flat tires? Either way, I got home and my wife calls. She's surprised I'm home so early. I tell her my tale, and she sighs and says it's not over, yet. Apparently, she awoke to a flat tire on her car this morning, also.

No more stories now. I'm going to go out to my shop and try to contain some air.


Bike Jax said...

There is definitely something in the air. I'm about to repair my 3rd flat in 4 days, so I feel your pain.

This sucks.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Don't feel alone. ID (inflatile dysfunction) affects one in four cyclists. Symptoms vary per patient. Please check with your doctor before beginning any ID therapy. Side affects are usually mild and include, leaving rides for no reason, flatting in races you can't win, riding too fast in tight single track, dry mouth and craving for creme brule' have all been reported in low incidence. If you suffer from TMBS (too many bikes syndrome) please notify your doctor, as lack of maintenance may increase case of ID.

BIGWORM said...

Thanks for the empathy, Bike Jax.

W.B., that's one of the funniest things you've ever written. Too bad most won't get it. I laughed so hard the Ol' Lady had to come see what I was up to.

BIGWORM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AucillaSinks said...

I was on a roll with flats too. I was averaging two a week for months. Mostly on my rear wheel which is worn smooth and looking tender so go figure. So I broke down and bought me a new pair of knobbies. First flat and I'm changing the old out with the new. That was two months ago. My tire is thinner than ever but not a flat to be had. So my advice, buy new tires.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

I just want to say: I am sorry I mocked you. It's one thing to flat and quite another to have...NO AIR!!
Karma, please give me a pass...I'm sorry!