Saturday, February 28, 2009

Tough Guy(or Girl) Contest

Well the face of the race may be changing. Our idyllic Florida weather is throwing a mean curve ball, and it's gonna take a home run swinger to knock it out of the park. I've already suggested we change the name to the Ice Man Cometh, the Deep South Version. According to yesterday's weather channel, it's gonna be cold, wintry and wet tomorrow. I'm sure this will hurt turn out, but those who make it should get one of those epic stories to tell. The ones that always come up at the end of any hard ride, or when your crew gets together at dinner and the drinks flow deep. "Remember that race at Redbug when Juancho got frostbite?"

Don't be a sissy and sit on your nice warm couch watching your favorite I Love Lucy reruns. Come out and suffer with a bunch of malcontents. Armageddon is coming, Obama or no Obama. It's time to harden up and be strong, or at least fake it until help arrives.

Besides, there should be more than enough food, now. So at least come sit under a tent and watch the dumbasses play in the mud, eat a burger, and support the foolish spirit that brings us all together.
I'm telling you now, Fat Lad would go! And he'd call us all out for being fair weather, Sissy Yanks!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Call Out!!

I'm calling out all you margin guys! You know who you are. The guys who think about racing once and awhile. You're not obsessed, but you still have that competitive streak. Don't tell me you don't. Because you all tell the stories of how you made so and so suffer on the last ride at Munson, Tom Brown, Felasco, etc. This weekend is the perfect chance to dip your toe in the waters. Not too deep mind you. I don't want you to drown, or anything. The Red Bug Challenge is the ideal venue for you to experience low stress mountain bike racing on Tallahassee's northside trails.

Juancho, I'm calling you out! And I think it's about time you called out Sasquatch. To hell with where everybody else finishes, Just beat the giant through the woods. Sasquatch, I know it's Red Bug, but there are enough dirt roads on the old Phipp's land to equalize the pressure.

Cupcake, I'm calling you out! I think that Bushy has your number!

Cliffy, I'd love to see you show up on the start line, just once. Besides, if we could get Dogboy or Marino out there, I'm sure that would be a battle royale.

Personally, I'd like to see the battle of the long travel, heavy wheelers on Sunday. I have this vision of Shins and King Snake rolling their monster bikes around the loop, launching every little inclination they can find, all the time with a cigarette hanging from the corner of their respective lips. (Yet somehow, they are always going just as fast as everyone else.)

No need to call out Gillis, I know he'll be there, and his biggest demon will be keeping his bike between the trees. (Big Thanks for the shout out, too T)

Maybe some old timers could dust off their two wheeled wagons and give it a go. Perhaps Mingo and Aucilla Sinks? Mike McCue and Ed Miller?

There will be more besides just racing. We hope to have a friendly game of Bull Fight, commonly referred to as knock down. Mingo has a date with destiny, btw. There should be a wheelie contest. Between Shins, Ice Berg, and Pizza Steve, I don't know if we have enough real estate for that one, but we may just have to incorporate some obstacles to tone down the distance.

We're looking to include a track stand contest, flat changing, huffy toss, whatever. We just want people to have fun hanging out with other two wheeled degenerates.

Any other rivalries out there? Real or Imaginary, I don't care, let us hear about it in the comments.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Lantern Rouge!

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the Lantern Rouge riders of the big tours. These poor bastards suffer day in and day out, to be last. They could quit and go home, but they stick it out. Let's hear it for perseverance.

Now I have the distinct pleasure to know one of these guys personally. Everybody knows that Phil Southerland is my adopted little brother. He wandered into the shop at age 12-13, and we raised him to be the little derelict that he is today. He's one over achieving little derelict, too, He and a friend started to Team Type 1 as a school project, and now they have a team in the Tour of California, our country's biggest stage race. Little Bro Phil is suffering a trial by fire, as he learns what it's like to step up to the next level. The boy works his ass off, and my heart swells with pride when I see his achievements. I used to push him up the longer hills as a kid, and now I find strength in his never say die attitude.

Let's pump big love to the West Coast for Phil and his boys on Team Type 1. After 5 hours of sub 47 degree, rainy weather on yesterday's stage, they need all the love they can get.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009