Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Tying Up Loose Ends


I've been horribly lax about keeping this site up to date. I feel like I need to have a lot to say, or it's not worth saying at all. New plan. We'll try smaller posts from time to time. I'm not sure if that will work either. I once had an art instructor who told me that the more simple the subject matter, the more perfect the technique must be. We'll just have to see how it works.


In perusing the local blogs, I see that we have several stories left incomplete, so I'll try to tie up those loose ends.


Bump-n-Grind: Big Jim Slade won. The rest of us didn't. That's what that instructor meant by poor technique not carrying the simple subject, so let's fill in some blanks. BJS won, but there is the sidebar about him cherry picking the Beginner class. I shouldn't be so hard on him, though. He had fair sounding arguments. He hadn't raced in 10+ years. He was unsure of himself. He'd sworn to never race again. Too much pressure, and he would've stayed home. Despite our reassurances that he is faster than ever(after all, he does ride with us) he went and pulled on his water wings with the rest of the beginners, and proceeded to drag them around the kiddie loop, by their tongues.


Thanks to 007, there was a wager amongst the rest of us, involving prorated lap times. The loser wears a mini skirt at the Tallahassee race. That was my biggest focus. That, and trying to hawk down Wrecking Ball, who started 2 minutes ahead of me. I started hard, but not redlined. Hit the woods in 4th and settled in. I caught guys on the technical areas and the downhills. They would reel me back in on the longer climbs. When we hit the fireroad to the big climb, I was still in 4th or 5th. I could not have been happier to see 007 standing by the trail, all red faced and blown up. I was already stressing how the skirt was going to keep getting caught on my saddle. With that off my back, I just tried not to lose too much time on this long drag of a climb. As soon as we hit the singletrack downhill, I was back at home. It took awhile to pass an over braking, too nervous sport rider. I think I rode too hard to get around, because shortly after I got around, I felt my rear tire getting soft. I pulled over to fix it, and watched helplessly, as all these people I had passed, returned the favor. I changed the tube, and went back to full charge, but the damage was done. I ended up around 7th, with the next guy just 6 seconds up.


Wrecking Ball flew! The fear of me grabbing his ass in lycra in front of all those mountain biking peers was just too much. Even after factoring out the 3 minutes I spent on the flat, Wrecking Ball put time on me. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 minutes. The resident fast guys did as expected. Silk, Ice Berg, and Marcus all got 2nd in their respective expert and sport classes. I don't remember where Jim Smart finished, but he never fails to impress me with how fast he goes on that damn rigid single speed. He had 2, 17 mile laps, and they were both faster than my one!


So goes the story of Bump-n-Grind.


Team Type 1 and RAAM: I'm damn proud of that team. I can't entirely explain my attachment to them, as Phil is the only one I know that well. Being there that first year, and then again for the sophomore attempt, the experience is so huge, it's not easily dismissed. This year they gave it their all, again, but came up a little short. For a more detailed peek behind the curtain, check out Monique's site. The Norwegians rode hard. Very hard! I remember reading somewhere that great champions are defined by their competitors. The Norwegians are worthy adversaries, and I can't wait to see how next year pans out.


Big Foot Sighting: Yes, Juancho rode with us this past weekend. The last time we invited him to a southside ride before noon, he wanted to know why we were obsessed with doing night rides! Juancho not only showed up, but he was there before me. I dig it when the crews intermingle. Otherwise the gene pool gets a little shallow.


Top quotes from the ride;


"You just gotta figure out how to get the big black man to give you more of that banana pudding."


"It's all relative. That log is a lot bigger to Wrecking Ball, than it is to the rest of us."


"Riding without Wrecking Ball, is like a road trip without a radio."


"If you put a saddle on that fox squirrel, Wrecking Ball, I bet you could fly around these trails!"


"I feel a crack coming on." (2 seconds later) "And there it is."


Sorry for the flack W.B., but you had it coming after that video post. Thanks for the entertainment, Juancho.

11 comments:

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Good one, or five ....who's counting. I knew when you said I rode well at BNG the forecast called for pain. That being said, I just woke my wife up and hour early by laughing so hard. It probably won't affect where she sends her appraisals.....anyway what do you care... your bathing in Krystal over there at the BM compound!

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Sorry, please hit the flip button on that M and make it a W. Nobody wants to live at a BM compound, but everyone wants to hang at the BW hizzy!

BIG JIM S. said...

It’s good to see that one of my three favorite bloggers has picked up his quill again, and to make matters even better you have discussed one of my preferred subjects…ME. Honesty, I am fortunate that such capable cyclists allow me to ride with them (yes WB that means you too). Bikeposse rules!

Ms. Moon said...

You know, you might really like riding in a mini skirt. So much freedom of movement, the lovely wind caressing your mighty legs, etc.
Why wait to lose to try it?

juancho said...

Entertainment? I'm trying to crush you guys and you don't even notice.

More miles please.

BIGWORM said...

Sorry, Juancho. Consider me crushed. It sucks that we rode all over hell and back last night, and didn't run into you until the last 7 minutes of the ride.

sasquatch said...

So Wrecking Ball whupped some ass in the Bump & Grind, and B.W. is a big enough man not to hide behind a flat. A noble tale, even if it is missing the resounding echoes of W.B.'s crowing.

I obviously don't understand the subtle complexities of W.B.. I knew he was strong as hell going into that race, so I expected a blog the day after they returned with a title like, "Lick my Dust" or "Lay Down and Stay Down, Bitches!" or "Wreck That."

Hearing nothing, I thought maybe the race had been cancelled, or, projecting my crew's tendencies, you all missed it because you lingered too long at the Waffle House.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

I have learned the hard way (with the crew) not to get to confident before a race, and not to take a victory lap after. Everytime I pat myself on the back, I hook a tree with my bars.
With our guys you are only as good as your last ride. Believe me, Chris has put me in a world of hurt several times in the last few weeks. The Ying has more than been yanged!

juancho said...

All of these manners and diplomacy, where am I?

Anonymous said...

Worm putting time on me isn’t worth bragging on nor is it worth mentioning that WB beat me by a country mile, must be all that diplomacy. I did feel confident the night before, even the morning of felt in rhythm but I must of used up my goods on the pre-ride cause I felt like cold molasses flowing up hill on the climbs. I too passed a good number of riders on the down hills and road Blood Road while taunting the crowd.

Next year I will beat both Worm and WB but I don’t need to wait till then if they do Fools Gold I will surly finish firstish.

Mingo

RickySilk said...

Don't need no literary masterpiece up in dis bitch... Jus keep us informed n stuff.

Let dem thoughtses flowses... yer money baby.

Mingo is pickin up were the red drizagon left off.