Thursday, February 16, 2012

Thoughts on Living

I just read Dirty Biker's most recent piece, over at This guy just continues to amaze me, with his ability to pull the trigger on adventure after adventure.

I can remember listening to a conversation over dinner, between a couple of Tallahassee's more traveled cycling crew. One recounted another conversation with a coworker who stated that she "REALLY wished" that she could take on the adventures, that this traveler, had experienced. At this point in the conversation on which I was eavesdropping, both travelers called bullshit, and laughed about the whole thing. They both strongly felt that if people "REALLY wished" that they could do something, they would make it happen.

That conversation has stuck with me, ever since. I try so hard to apply it when it counts, and sometimes just to remind myself that I can. Basically, I'm a big chicken. I know that these adventures are always available, but comfort and the unknown are massive obstacles. I have nomadic friends, who never seem to be home. They seem perfectly  at ease, floating along the winds, the seasons, and the continents. I'd feel like a kite without a string.

I like home. I like the feeling of security and peace, that roots bring about. But, I also long to see what else is out there. How do I reconcile these conflictual desires? I keep looking for the off switch for fear, or maybe trying to turn up the volume on courage. Maybe it's just natural to always wonder whether the grass really is greener on the other side.

I don't have the answers, only more questions. Otherwise, this post would have been titled, Answers on Living. In the meantime, I suppose I'll continue trying to expand my boundaries, but slowly enough that I avoid stretch marks.


BIG JIM said...

I hear ya loud and clear

Treeman said...

"He wants a home and security
He wants to live like a sailor at sea" Bob Seagar, Beautiful Loser

When you're safe at home you wish you were off having an adventure.
When you're having a tough time you wish you were safe at home.

I'm just chicken.

AucillaSinks said...

It’s cool to strive for more adventure in your life. It’s good to take inspiration and emote appreciation for the Dirty Biker types that get epic all the time. But people who hear of a friends adventure and pine for their own version even though they know in their heart they would never do something like that deserved to be called out.

Perhaps the answer on living is to be content in your own skin. Appreciate what makes you sound and happy and don’t question or apologize to yourself about it. Good woman, good job, nice town, large crew, security, Bigworm got it good, grass is green. Sure, strive for regular doses of adventure, as you always have, but I fail to see any conflict my friend.

BIGWORM said...

I think you've got a good handle on the situation, Sinks. When I was 25, I always felt, I could die now, and it was good life. Questions about possible regrets seem to surface later in life. Just gotta remember to keep perspective, I suppose.

And for the record, I'm glad you're lurking around this site, still.

FBT said...

I don't have any answers, but it's a topic I struggle with greatly myself. It's a phugged up deal when good common sense (not necessarily "fear vs. courage") of middle-age battles between the "I want to"'s and the "I regret"'s.

Just one more aspect of life where balance has to be found. How much courage is sensible vs. how much fear/comfort is handicapping...?

If anyone figures it out, please forward it to me directly...

Magnum said...

Being comfortable at home is more difficult than adventuring by a wide margin. "Nostalgia" is Greek for the sadness of returning home-referring to adventurers before ever referring to thoughts.

I used to adventure quite a bit, 3-6 months at a time living overseas traveling, working, training others, exploring, struggling with other alphabets, etc. and toward the end of many of those trips, just craved some water in the toilet and a decent hardware store.

Once BabyGirl was born, that type of adventure ceased, and it took a while for me to realize a new one began.
Now, I've combined the two and it's been great. But we have to live in the ghetto to afford it- whatever.