Friday, February 8, 2008

Tension and Release

I have been enjoying the words brought to us by the Human Wrecking Ball over at his place. But lately, there seems to be some tension building around the W.B.. Don't get me wrong. There is always a degree of tension surrounding this character. Not bad tension, just tension. It's like he can't find enough to do in any given day to burn up all the energy inside him. So eventually that energy escapes into the world around him. He was titled the Wrecking Ball for a reason. That dude has killed more bike parts than he ever should have. He's not a big huckstar, flinging his bike off every precipice with reckless abandon. He's not a clumsy oaf, slamming ungraciously into every obstacle. But parts die beneath him. I think that energy of his simply gets absorbed into whatever he touches. He told me once he used to buy drumsticks 20 at a time. Why didn't that surprise me. His energy explodes into his passion, whether his passion can handle it or not.

Lately, he's enjoyed this blog world we're playing within. He reads the passages of our cycling brethren religiously, and pipes in with the same fervor. It's a good blow off valve for him; a good place to release whatever is bringing his internal tea kettle to the whistle point.

If you've ever ridden with W.B., you may have experienced what we call his light switch syndrome. If he's at the front, he's either on or off, like a lightswitch. There's no dimmer on that boy. When he tells his legs its ok to go, the only way to reign them in, is to shut them off completely. It could be that same pressure inside him, driving his efforts, and its too hard to control. Or, maybe he's secretly Steve Austin and has yet to learn to control his bionic parts. Either way, it seems like that same head of steam may be building up in his increasingly frequent calling out of his friends in blogworld. Now, with the responses adding up, I just hope everyone remembers this is all fun and games, and none of it should be taken too seriously, as I know the W.B. doesn't intend it that way.

Now, on to another subject. Liars. For the record, Big Jim Slade is a liar. Not a liar in the evil sense, but a liar in the classic mountain biker sense."Oh, I'm too slow to ride with you guys.", he croons. "Are you sure you don't mind waiting for me?" he whines. "BIG FAT LIAR", I say! Up the first hill of the night, Ice Berg is trying to teach the Newbie a lesson. I'm sitting on, just a little more out of breath than I'd like, when I hear BIG FAT LIAR, back in the back talking to Marcus as if it's nothing. He's back there reciting the Lincoln Address, extoling the virtues of Evangelical Christianity, and pontificating on the whereabouts, both physically and metaphysically, of Osama Bin Laden. We've all experienced it. "I'm gonna take it easy today." LIAR. "This is my off week." LIAR. "I have not ridden with you guys in years, so I know there is no way I can keep up." LIAR. But damn, this guy has been out of the loop for years! I never saw it coming! Anyway, its good to have him back. And I assume the multiple emails I received regarding a new light system, means he feels like he's back, too. Welcome back, liar.


Human Wrecking Ball said...

love me!

Big Jim said...

Speaking of LIARS, Big Jim remembers the day when he was invited to all of the “slow rides.“ Big Jim was told many a time “oh, this will be an EASY ride,” “we’re just going to tool around,” “so slow, invite your grandma to join us, she can lead.” Big Jim, not the sharpest tool in the shed at times was duped on more than one occasion. On each occasion Big Jim would crawl home, puke, cuss, spit blood, and puke some more. Unfortunately, Big Jim’s memory is about as long as his hair (that’s right, what hair), so on the next invite Big Jim was eager and raring to go. Apparently in the MTB world, slow has the definition of “haul ass.”
At least the Revolutions Posse was always looking out for Big Jim. For example, there was the day many years ago at Phipps where Big Jim decided he could jump that four foot log (or was it twenty foot) that all of the more experienced guys were jumping. Big Jim did not go down with a thud but, instead, went down with a “holy shit that had to hurt.” Now did the guys stop Big Jim from trying the same jump a second time..WELL HELL NO…..AND encouraged Big Jim to try it again (what else are friends for). I SURE MISS THAT OLD CAST.
Now it’s late and Big Jim is tired of talking in the third person. I can’t wait for that next “slow ride.” I wonder what Granny is doing tomorrow. Maybe she’s up for a bike ride.

Spanish Mackerel said...

Oh man all this liar talk actually made me laugh out loud....shhhhh Mrs.Mackerel is trying to sleep in the big easy chair! I dont see how she can do it, what with me giggling while I watch Reno 911 and read this blog. Its comedy overload I tell you.

I think Big Jim is lucky as hell to have no long term memory, a Momento kind of thing I guess. See the Mackerel never forgets you all are a bunch of sandbagging phat liars! Yet I still don my gear and roll with the crew. Why? It's simple really....I wanna be a sandbagger too! I cant wait till the day I can bag on someones ass. It may be a long time (at least after hunting season)but it will come. I'll have to determine my approach when it arrives. Take Wrecking Ball for example, he's a blatant bagger. He says he's sore as hell but then he's off blasting out in front all day. Big Worm is way more sublte, he says his legs are toasty and hangs in the back but also happens to be doing a wheelie up hill next to me while I struggle. Thanks for that dick kick.....dick. I gots time to think about it.

Well, time to wake with my caudal peduncle and get to spawning.

The Agitator said...