It's happening again. It happened this same time last year. Despite my best efforts to stave it off, the longing creeps back in. Keeping the desire away is about as fruitless as holding water in your cupped hands. One weak moment on a friend's website, and my heart swells with pride at his accomplishments...again.
I swore it off after the first venture. I was weak and returned for a second tour of duty. It's funny how a year will fog the memories of sleepless nights, and days. Long hours of caring for tired riders and their machines that carry them across this great big country of ours. And I promise you, this country is a hell of a lot larger at 25mhp! The 2nd RAAM was alot harder for me, than the first go around. You'd think it would be easier, with experience, and all. Maybe the experience was the killer. Having the knowledge of just how big an undertaking we were on kept my nerves on edge. I always felt like one mistake would topple our monstrous house of cards. Carl and Paul stayed on a high all the way through their first year, as did I the year before. Maybe the knowing what was behind the curtain sullied the polish.
Regardless, I found myself on the teamtype1 website tonight, and those evil longings of participating in that grand debacle crept inside my defenses again. I've fended off the calls to battle so far. My adopted little brother, Phil, is not on the RAAM team this year, as he's part of the pro team now. As a matter of fact, he's enjoying the steep part of the learning curve at the Tour of Taiwan. As a big brother, I reserve the right to snicker at his suffering. His not being at RAAM this year makes it a little easier for me to bow out. But it still doesn't stop the desire.
This year I've reserved my time for a new grand adventure, which hopefully will be substantially less stressful, albeit substantially more expensive.