Thursday, August 25, 2011

Fool's Gold Time Stamps

Fool's Gold was long enough that I can't remember it all in a fluid fashion. I only have these blips.

5:02 - It's too early to be getting up to race. I hope I don't forget anything...

6:00 - We're supposed to be rolling out, right now. I wonder if Big Jim Slade is flipping out.

6:07 - En route. I wish this diet coke was the fountain variety.  The bottled version has too much fizz.

7:02 - Shit! I forgot my gel flasks back at the hotel. Better cram a couple more stinger waffles in my camelbak.

7:15 - This camelbak has to weigh 40 pounds. I HATE a camelbak!

7:18 - Pour out half of the camelbak.

7:40 - Wow!! This is a huge crowd for the start.  I hope BJS lined up with Silk, near the front.

7:45 - Neutral roll out.

7:47 - I finally cross the official start line.

From here on out, I no longer knew clock time. All I had was the actual roll time on my Garmin.

0:37 - Camp Wahsega. The base of the climb up Cooper Gap. The last time I saw StorminNorman, as the folks I knew dropped my bis ass.

1:12 - This creaking pedal is gonna make me lose my ever loving mind.

1:46 - Shit, I forgot to take my endurolytes. Better stop and take some now, before it's too late. Damn it! They're not in my camelbak. Must have left them in the truck. It's gonna be a looong, cramp filled day.

2:11 - Ahhh. The top of the climb, and the first sag station. Refill camelbak and top off bottle. Chat with Naked Indian, before he rolls out before me.

2:15 - Blast past Naked Indian, and quite a few other folks, as I try to gain back some of what I lost on the climb. This descent is sick fast, and waaayyy fun. Scared myself a few times, but so worth it!

2:56 - Skip sag 2. Too soon after last sag, so I think I'm good to go ahead and take out Bull Mountain.

3:11 - Whoa, was that hunger pains? Been trying to eat something every 0:45-1hr. Guess it wasn't enough. Get passed by Paul, as I get rolling, again. Trying to eat a Clif Bar while grunting in my granny gear is tough!

3:21 - These 2 old cats, lounging just past the creek are cracking me up! Reminds me of The Benny Rooster and Longshanks Sr. How'd they get way out here? Looks like they're having fun heckling the racers, though.  We crack jokes as I work my way past them, beginning another uphill grunt. Made me smile thinking of all the rides I've done with our favorite 2 old cats, back home.

3:35 - Oh please, Dear God, let that be StorminNorman's red jersey I see walking that climb up ahead of me!!!

3:36 - Awwwww! No such luck. But that is Ms Paige, I see up there. Guess the technical stuff is catching  up to her. 

3:45 - Ride past Paige and Paul, standing by the trail. She does not look happy! Ask if they're okay, and keep on rolling.

3:47 -  Suhweet, fast downhills! This is why I suffer so long to get up here. Worth every second!

3:51 - Pass a fit looking guy, who says he's fighting cramps. That sucks. OOOuuuuucchhhh! Shit! Damn!!! Guess it's my turn. Son of a bitch, that hurts!!!

3:51:05 - Fit guy passes me back, looking like he really does feel my pain. He wishes me luck, and pedals out of sight.

3:57 - BAM!!! Hit a rock so hard with my back wheel, I almost get tossed over the bars. Please don't flat. Please don't flat. Please don't flat.          Shit!

3:59 - Glad I could limp it this far. This is a good spot to watch folks climb this little hump, while I swap my tube. Booyah!! There's those damn endurolytes! Gulp. You've got to be kidding me! This tube is brand new! How is there an effing hole in it?!! I'm gonna kick Red Dragon in his baby maker when I get home! I hope this glueless patch kit holds.

4:19 -  Begin my ride again, now joined by Paige and Paul. I bomb the downhills, they catch me every time the gradient turns against me.

4:25 - Ahhh, Sag 3. Time to remix a go-go juice bottle, and refill this dead weight on my back. Mmmm, cookies and M&M's. Somebody out there is looking out for me!

4:55 - Glad we didn't miss that turn! Wonder how many folks did...

5:14 - Creek, big creek! Paul was wondering if it was rideable. I said sure, rode to the middle and got off. I stood knee deep in that cold water, and dunked my helmet. It felt amazing, as I was starting to overheat. I heard Paul laughing as I began climbing the other side.

5:16 - Really? Was that a rain drop?

5:18 - Apparently God has a serious sense of humor! Now that all the pretty, fast people are off the course, the bottom's gonna fall out. Guess that creek was the least of our worries, when it comes to wet equipment. Wish I had glasses, to keep the mud out of my eyes.

5:45 - This rain is serious. I hope I have enough brake pad left to make the last couple of corners that follow those BIG downhills on the road back to the winery.

5:55 - Sorry Paul, but if I stop to wait for Paige, I may not get started again. What, you're not stopping either? Oh boy! Hope you don't get in too much trouble.

6:01 - This is pure evil! Even the paved uphills are destroying me.

6:03 - WTF?! Why can't I catch Paul?! I'm pedaling as hard as I can, and my heart rate is only 126. I think my heart may have died.

6:06 - Yeah yeah! Whatever, fit dude! You're soooo fast on the pavement. And you're white Hammer jersey is filthy!

6:07 - If I could catch that guy, I'd tackle him.

6:21 - Please don't make me have to walk this steep bitch right here in the winery.  Okay, paper boying this hill is less embarrassing than walking. Yeah, let's go with that. I'm kicking Eddie O'dea in his baby maker, if I can lift my leg that high.

6:22 - Thank God that's over! I wonder if I'd get in trouble if I hucked my clay orange bike, followed by my clay orange body, into the pool?

??:?? - That hose barely got the mud off. I bet Big Jim would cry if I just went and climbed straight into the truck. I'm pretty sure my right ass cheek is cramped.

??:?? - As soon as I can move again, we need to eat.

My official race time was 7:01. That was a lot longer than I expected. The patching of the flat fiasco, and the rain, certainly didn't help.  Oh well, I suppose it gives me something to improve upon, next year.


BIG JIM said...

Damn, that was a nice way to approach that blog. Sucks I didn't think of it. I enjoyed the read and made me giggle.

Treeman said...

It was an adventure wasn't it? I like reading about the ride as seen through some body else's eyes. Now if only Silk would share his story.

BIGWORM said...

I'm glad you guys enjoy the story telling. I like to see other views of others, too. I've been crawling the web, looking for more, Pflug tells his on his site.

Silk has an awesome way of telling his tales, but it's terribly difficult to get it out of him. I've been in his case for ever to rekindle his old site.

Anonymous said...

That was entertaining. Good way to blow off some time on a Friday afternoon at work.

-Paul L

Mark said...

I sure hope you didn't mess up your rear wheel when you hit it so hard on the rock!!